This article is an opinion-editorial by: Rylee Byers
Cover Image: Hannah Peters
Observational learning plays a vital role in a child’s development, as children continuously absorb and process the world around them.
This helps them form patterns of behavior, allowing them to distinguish between right and wrong based on the context in which behaviors are used.
Through observation, children also develop a complex understanding of emotions, as they can experience and internalize feelings without being directly provoked, simply by witnessing someone else’s emotional responses.
In today’s media landscape, however, this is concerning due to the type of content children are mimicking and the lack of boundaries for how much they consume.
Cartoons and animated series often depict violence as a form of rightful retribution, with both “heroes” and “villains” engaging in aggressive behaviors. This makes it difficult for children to discern right from wrong, especially when characters they admire resort to violence as a solution to problems, and the actions are positively reinforced.
In these instances, children are not learning important conflict-resolution skills like communication or empathy.
This highlights the importance of children spending time offline and building relationships with friends and family. Real-life interactions are essential for learning how to communicate and develop emotionally. Instead of having a stunted childhood, they need to have a stunted relationship with technology.
When a child’s experience as a kid is rushed with constant exposure to technology and the information that comes with it, it becomes more difficult for them to express themselves. Parents need to sit and learn with their kid about their identity. A lot can be revealed in how kids express themselves through imagination and play.
“How do I know what I love? Let’s play. Let’s figure it out,” Leah McCurdy said.
McCurdy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Connect and Restore who specializes in child parent psychotherapy, as well as trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy.
According to McCurdy, fairytales and fables provide children with vivid examples of imagination and assist them in learning how to access it, while traditional storytelling and creative play offer parents a window into their child’s imaginative world, helping them better understand and connect with their child’s creativity.
Many, if not all, fairytales and fables are centered around the theme of good vs. evil, while also integrating magic and whimsy— a creative way of engaging and educating children on the subject of morals through confronting fears and challenges in a fantastical and memorable setting. Moral education is crucial to a child’s development as it assists them in establishing their own values and motivations behind their behaviors.
An example of this would be the classic story of Little Red Riding Hood. The fairy tale follows a young girl who, despite her mother’s warning to stay on the familiar path and avoid strangers, is deceived by a cunning wolf. Her choice to go against her mother’s instructions leads to unfortunate consequences.
The narrative serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of disobedience and the importance of being wary of strangers, inspiring children to listen to their parents’ guidance and have safety awareness.
Unfortunately, it’s becoming increasingly rare for children to consume and mimic this kind of content. As previously noted, aggressive retribution has become a common theme in children’s television, and this trend is accompanied by a growing desensitization to inappropriate topics, including innuendos and advanced puberty jokes that creators weave into their narratives.
While watching television or scrolling through social media may serve as a means of relaxation or “turning off one’s brain” for people in general, content for children should primarily focus on education and supporting their development. This should be done on a child’s individual level of understanding and maturity and not that of an adult.
McCurdy recommends several educational shows that provide valuable learning experiences for children. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood focuses on peer interaction and relational problem-solving skills. Bluey emphasizes family bonding and emotional connections. Sesame Street teaches children about diversity and how to navigate differences in the world around them.
Other recommended shows include the Backyardigans, which encourages creativity and imagination through music and adventure; Wild Kratts, which introduces kids to wildlife and science through engaging storytelling; and Super Why, which encourages early literacy skills and critical thinking.
These are just a few among the plethora of educational shows for children. As a parent, it’s crucial that you do research about the shows you’re allowing your child to watch before they consume it.
McCurdy emphasizes the need for parents to set time limits on technology use and follow through with those boundaries.
Establishing boundaries early on and balancing screen time with outdoor and physical activities help children develop healthier coping mechanisms and maintain emotional stability.
Viewers of media, especially younger audiences, have grown accustomed to an image-driven culture with modern shows switching camera angles every 10 seconds compared to older television shows that often maintained single shots for 30 to 50 seconds.
Over time, this constant stimulation can reduce attention spans, training viewers to seek quick, sensory input rather than developing sustained focus, setting up a cycle of stimulation that resembles addiction.
As children grow acclimatized to this rapid engagement, excessive exposure to technology — such as shows, movies and social media — begins to interfere with brain chemistry, affecting neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. When children are suddenly deprived of media with sudden and inconsistent limits, their brain loses the familiar stimuli, which can lead to emotional meltdowns.
If a child has an unhealthy and addicting relationship with technology, it can be challenging for them to give it up when their screen time is finished. McCurdy recommends a method of acknowledgment, redirection, and regulation: “I see that you’re really angry, but right now we are going to do this choice or this choice, and you get to choose.” She suggests a way to give children control while guiding them away from their frustration.
McCurdy stresses the importance of not escalating with a child when they are having difficulty regulating their emotions.
“Don’t be a thermometer. Be a thermostat,” she said.
Communicate with them how their emotions are affecting their body language and behavior. Make sure co-regulation happens.
If you feel frustrated or upset, too, gently express that to them in a way that displays those emotions as normal.
“Identify your own feelings and make sure they know that you are still calm and collected, and that you still love them and that their feelings aren’t invalid. It’s okay to have feelings and it’s okay to be angry,” McCurdy said.
Then show them the right and wrong way to handle the emotion.
Boredom, according to McCurdy, is crucial for developing creativity and problem-solving skills. When children have immediate solutions in front of them, whether from technology or adults, it stunts their ability to think critically.
“You’re not always going to have something right in front of you. It’s not going to be instantaneous gratification,” she said.
The same applies to teenagers relying on AI to complete tasks for them, which can limit their opportunities to explore their own strengths and talents.
“AI is great to write a letter of recommendation, but it’s not the same as sitting down, having coffee, talking, figuring out life together, and learning how to compromise,” McCurdy said. “We didn’t learn those skills when we needed to, and now it’s really awkward because we don’t know how to do it.”
If a child or teen is struggling to engage in independent thinking — whether by constantly agreeing with what they consume without moral discernment or seeking instant gratification — it’s crucial to get involved. Every time a device is handed to them for distraction, they’re distancing themselves from their own creativity.
Don’t just set screen time limits; actively monitor what they’re watching. Be a filter between them and the content they consume. Whether the content is positive or negative, have compassionate conversations about the emotions and themes being portrayed. Help them build habits of critical thinking and awareness that they can access before they commit an action. If a character models negative behavior, talk about why it’s not acceptable. If they exhibit positive actions, discuss those as well. These conversations, even disagreements, are opportunities to discuss family values and beliefs. If you’re uncomfortable discussing the content with your child, they probably shouldn’t be watching it.